So me and this guy been friends for a while now, and I caught feelings. And at times I feel like he has the same feelings but refuses to show them. And honestly it's not so easy loving him, it's so complicated and when were together alone he shows me all the attention in the world, but when were around other people he doesn't show me that attention. Last school year we weren't together but between us we acted like a couple. And, I'm not sure if I'm in love with him but sometimes he makes me sick. And when we would be alone, he's always ask me to give him a kiss but for some ready it never happened. It hurts that we can't have a relationship, last year towards the ending of school my phone broke and well he asked me for my numbers and I didn't have a phone at the time and I think that little thing hurt our relationship. I don't want a public relationship at all, I just want to be with him. Also I can't just tell him that "oh, you're breaking my heart" it's hard to talk to him in that way, because he is really playfull.

I don't think I love him but I care for him a lot. I'm trying my hardest not to get so attached but I'm already am. Also his cousin is my best friend. (she also attends our high school)

PLEASE HELP I WANT TO BE WITH HIM